The yellow press strikes again.

You're not really reporting anymore.

I hate this "What would happen," crap. Stick to what is happening, and what's probably going to happen tomorrow, and by that I mean, tomorrow, not 12-14 months.

And then there's this.

"WASHINGTON – Two million dead. Hospitals overwhelmed. Schools closed. Swaths of empty seats at baseball stadiums and houses of worship. An economic recovery snuffed out. We're nowhere close to what government planners say would be a worst-case scenario:"

No, we're nowhere close, but by God, you'll lead with the yellowest information you can think of all the same. Douche.

Swine flu.

Mexico blows.

We're relying on Mexico...MEXICO, to stem a pandemic. We're boned.

Actually, I'm pretty sure this is a media scare-fest. They can't bash Obama and the economy stories aren't selling, so what better to scare and depress people but some flu thing.

Taliban declares victory.

Taliban wins!?

"'Our strength is in the hundreds,' said Moulana Mohammad Khalil, as heavily armed men openly patrolled the roads in pickup trucks, singing Islamic anthems."

The hundreds! Dear lord, we'll be overrun! And they have...pickup trucks...

A few questions:

1. Wasn't the Taliban defeated in 03-04? Oh wait, no, they were pushed out of Afghanistan and allowed to fester in Pakistan while we played with ourselves in Iraq.

2. Why hasn't Pakistan been invaded? Their intelligence agencies created the Taliban to begin with, now they harbor them. Oh, I know, Pakistan has a nuke. We don't invade countries with nukes, which why Iran wants one so bad.

Columbine, all wrong.

Truth? Wait for the book.

The mass media has no credibility. They report unconfirmed crap, giving people false impressions that not only hinder people's ability to handle future problems, but create countless other problems through misconception.

Seems like every time I read a news story, I have to ask, is this complete tripe?

Chan tells it like it is.

Does anyone care what Chan thinks?

I know zilch about China, aside from that it's an awful, overpopulated place where life is cheap and individuality is a joke concept, so I won't say much beyond that.

Texas, taxes...same letters, same thing.

It's got my vote.

I've long been an advocate for floating Texas out to sea, but having it secede is just find. I say we beat them to the punch and expel them. We can take bets on how long it takes them to beg the federal government for financial aid, or to request military aid because Mexico would like its land back.

The south never really understood the whole constitution thing anyway.

RetardoMom.

I officially hate this woman.

I'm pretty sure I said that a while ago. I really shouldn't be devoting time, words, or bandwidth to her, but...God.

"but said reports of a signed deal are premature."

Like her children.

"A Texas company not affiliated with her has filed to trademark an Octomom iPhone game.'You press on her belly and she has babies,' the company's CEO said."

I'm glad someone aside from Dr. Phil is making money off her. Maybe there's a game where you're tax dollars go to pay for her children...oh wait, that's not a game, that's really happening.

"'Each baby earns welfare money. Having babies while the Paparazzi is in the room earns a cash bonus! Money is used to buy more fertility shots. Fertility shots let Octomom have more babies! 'It may 'take a village to raise a child' but it only takes Octomom to birth a village of children!'"

She doubles as the village idiot, too.

Power grid compromised.

Is there anything in America the Chinese don't own?

One hopes we have similar nasty things embedded in their power grids.

April 1

April Fools.

The mainstream media's credibility is such that I would question the wisdom of running gag articles. Ever.

It seems regardless of how stupid the fake story is, a few idiots buy into it. Should the media be responsible for stupid people's actions? No. I don't know. It is what it is, I suppose.

Appropriately enough, the deadline for NY's state budget is April 1.