Republican reinvention: inane babbling.

You can't polish a turd.

But they're going to try.

Here's what would would make me vote Republican:

1. Keep out of people's personal lives. What two consenting adults do in a bedroom is none of Uncle Sam's business. Telling people who they can't marry is also an intrusion.

2. Be cheap. As in, stop blowing trillions of dollars on weapons, stop bending common people over in front of big business, and stop allowing American jobs to be shipped overseas or given to Mexicans.

3. Realize that American, as big and tough as it is, can't fight 30 wars at a time.

There was nothing conservative about the last Republican administration, and there's nothing conservative about them now. They wan't a bigger government, no questions asked, to meddle in foreign affairs, and suck up all the natural resources. The only thing they're conservative about is human rights and not giving what's due.

Basically, start being cheap with money and not on common sense and human rights, and we'll talk, Republicans.

They won't, of course. They'll go out into the country shouting "The Muslim Liberals are coming to take your guns, abort your babies, and burn your Bibles! And tax you without representation!"

And people will believe them.